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      064.The Lover and the Beloved
     First of all, love is a joint experience between two persons - but the fact that it is a joint experience does not mean that it is a similar experience of the two people involved. There are the lover and the beloved, for all the stored up love which has lain quiet within the lover for a long time hitherto. And somehow ev to know a new, strange loneliness and it is this knowle his love within himself as best he can; create for himself a whole new inward world - a world intense and strange, in himself. Let it be added here that this lover about whom we speak need not necessarily be a young man saving for a wedding ring - this lover can be a man, woman, child, or indeed any human creature on this earth.
     Now, the belo for love. A man may be a doddering great grandfather and still love only a strange girl he saw in the streets of Cheehaw one afternoon two , greasy headed, and given to evil habits. Yes, and the lover may see this as clearly as anyone else - but that does not affect the evolution of his love one whit. A most mediocre person can be the object of a love which is wild, extravagant, for a love both violent and debased, or a jabbering madman may bring about in the soul of someone a tender and simple idyll. Therefore, the value and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself.
      would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that, in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover, and with the best of reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any possible relation with the beloved, him only pain.
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